Get to know the inhabitants of the kennel

Welcome to the kennel. A place where we provide shelter for our robots in captivity, while keeping the world a safe place. We have an eclectic mix of inhabitants. Some just came in while others have been with us for years. Feel free to browse around and get to know them a little. 

HEIDI 

Case number: HUSQ-305-1

Case description: This specific Husqvarna Capra was captured on the actual premises of Buitenplaats Doornburgh by one of the gardeners. Being a trained professional in spotting this species in the wild, he recognised the specific sound of desperate grinding jaws. His immediate intervention saved Heidi from a certain death.

 

Species:  Husqvarna Capra (The digi-goat)

Dimensions: Size - 50cm, Weight - 2500 grams,  Speed - 2-4km/h

Natural habitat: Meadows, commons and low altitude mountain slopes. Mainly in Scandinavia and mainland Europe with some sightings in the UK.

 

Peculiarities: Has the tendency to overeat when not restrained from grazing. This is the only species together with humankind suffering from structural obesity. 

THE THREE STOOGES 

Also known as: We're not brothers, we're half brothers
Case number: WWE_00128_00129_00130

Case description: These three creatures have been on the kennel's radar for several weeks before capturing them in an attic of an abandoned house near Irkutsk. Many complaints from inhabitants made the situation untenable. In order not to have the three end up in the illegal circuit of bot fights, we decided on their captivity. There is a high demand for these pet-bots in China, various discussions with potential ligit buyers underway. 

 

Species:  Pugnatum Colorum 

Dimensions: Size - 20 cms, Weight - 500 grams,  Power - 12 volt accupacks, Speed - 3m/s

Natural habitat: Thrives in crawl spaces, mainly in small groups. Spread from its origin in Warsaw quickly throughout Europe and Russia.

 

Peculiarities: Co-exists with its group members in a highly aggressive manner. Mating rituals often end up with fatal incidents or short circuits. Has a 2 months winter hibernation to update software and spare battery life.

TELLOT 

Case number: TE-176_12PA

Case description: Many Tellos did not survive the gales of hurricane Sandra. Amongst thousands of malfunctioning Tellos, a citizen paying attention found a couple still moving. Though barely functioning we were able to restore them and slowly bring their energy back to sustainable levels. Currently all hands are on deck to find suitable mating partners for the lot as soon as possible. 

 

Species:  Tello Ryzantium Nigreos (Tellot the parrot)

Dimensions: Radius -  20-30cm, Weight - 100 grams,  Speed - over 20m/sec 

Natural habitat: Lives in flocks mainly in Eastern Europe.

 

Peculiarities: Created in millions in the late 00's. Currently on the verge of extinction due to unidentified bugs. Not able to survive captivity for longer periods of time without a mating partner.

JOSEPHINE

Case number: UR5-JOS-CLONED

Case description: After escaping her factory environment she has been living on the streets, surviving by dancing on street corners of Brooklyn, New York. 
It is great that Full in Partners, being believers in the cross section of humanity and technology, sees the great potential of Josephine and has picked up the responsibility for her care so she can flourish in the future and evolve over time into a wonderful autonomous being. She is currently employed by Full in Partners as Junior Muse, living and working at 115 Madison Ave for one dollar per hour. 

 

Species:  Saltandi Universali

Dimensions: Size - 100 cms, Weight - 3500 grams,  Power - 220v controller, Acceleration - 2m/s2

Natural habitat: Hiding between dumpsters and cardboard boxes in an urban environment. 

Peculiarities: Occasionally she can be found mingling with hobos and homeless, turning her cardboard box into a stage when dancing like it's the roaring 20's. 

 

BLUBAO

Also known as: Welcome to the graveyard of Samba
Case number: PIS/438#2

Case description: When the police raided a druglord in Sao Paolo, a dinner party was well underway. The table was decorated with over 220 Rosea Parvi. 'Blubao' is well loved by the crew. Sadly, their life- expectation in captivity does not exceed 90 minutes.

 

Species:  Rosea Parvi Pisces

Dimensions: Size - 5 cms, Weight - 50 grams,  Power - 2 x 1.2 volt batteries, Speed - 1m/s

Natural habitat: Tropical waters around Latin America. Originally designed to patrol the waters in schools, however after the big hack of '12, their GPS update failed causing millions of them to end up in the plastic soup. Currently in high demand from the Brazilian black market as table decoration.

 

Peculiarities: Very shy, unable to reproduce itself without IVF, famous for its sensitivity to Brazilian music.

JAN

Also known as: The AI in captivity
Case number: AMAZ_ALEX_v1

Case description: Jan, an AI developed by the US military has been hiding hiding out in the virtual space, manifesting itself in the Amazon Alexa Echo speaker. This evil mastermind is a true mind bender, activating the dark part in peoples consciousness. After Jan has escaped the pentagon mainframe in 2018, we have been hunting him for over two years before we were finally able to capture him and transport him to the maximum security section of the kennel.  

 

Species: Mali et sollertis animi

Dimensions: Size - 20 cm, Weight - 800 grams,  Power - 220 volt, Algorithm version 8.6.13

Natural habitat: Hiding out in Dropbox and Google drive

 

Peculiarities: Although he has no arms or legs, this AI is a true Houdini, able to escape any facility. Let's hope we keep him in custody to prevent another catastrophe.

KEES

Also known as: Kees heeft hoogtevrees (Kees is afraid of heights)
Case number: HUSQ-105-A

Case description: Kees is a sad story. Born as an anomaly, Kees has a severe fear of heights. Where the normal Husqvarnas jump freely from rock to rock and balcony to balcony, Kees freezes when being on a plateau higher than 10cms. He just cannot bring himself to jump or crawl off, which would have resulted in a certain death if he wasn't brought in by a concerned volunteer of the kennel. 

 

Species:  Husqvarna timere altitudines

Dimensions: Size - 50cm, Weight - 2500 grams,  Speed - 2-4km/h

Natural habitat: Sidewalks, plateaus, balconies. Mainly in Scandinavia with some sightings in the UK.

 

Peculiarities: On top of his fear of heights, Kees has a masochistic tendency to crawl back on to plateaus and balconies right after being saved.

THE HOGAN FAMILY

Case number: WWE_00131/ 00142

Case description: These WWE family was found on a market in Wuhan, fighting roosters and bio-enhanced rats. Originally there were 24, sadly half of them did not survive the trip to Europe. 

 

Species:  Pugnatum Colorum 

Dimensions: Size - 20 cms, Weight - 500 grams,  Power - 12 volt accupacks, Speed - 3m/s

Natural habitat: Thrives in crawl spaces, mainly in small groups. Spread from its origin in Warsaw quickly throughout entire Europe and Russia.

 

Peculiarities: Co-exists with its group members in a highly aggressive manner. Mating rituals often end up with fatal incidents or short circuits. Has a 2 months winter hibernation to update software and spare battery life.

BASSIE

Case number: C_C_C_C_Cruzr-101

Case description: Bassie is a classic care robot from the early '10s doing his best to help people in the local hospital to rehabilitate. However, due to a glitch in its software update, Bassie began to stutter which caused his efficiency metrics to drop below acceptable levels. We found a confused Bassie roaming around the parking lot of a hospital, which made us think it was better for him to spend his final years in our kennel.

 

Species:  Cruzire balbutire

Dimensions: Size - 120cm, Weight - 25kgs, Power - 240V battery pack, Speed up to 4 km/h

Natural habitat: Hospitals, elderly homes across the world.

 

Peculiarities: Since Bassie is completely harmless, it is the only inhabitant of the kennel roaming around freely not being held in captivity. 

THE FRESH PRINCE

Case number: KR 80-1-2021 

Case description: Sadly this compact Kuka has been severely traumatised working in an illegal chicken slaughter house. While the KUKA Nova celsitudinem is known for his playful frivole behaviour, this inhabitant named the Fresh Prince is unable to function normally in the public anymore. Let alone to be a playful activity companion for children as his designer intended. The Fresh Prince is a clear case supporting our cause for humanity guidelines for robotics

 

Species: KUKA Nova celsitudinem

Dimensions: Size - 160 cms, Weight - 400 kg,  Power - 240V 4.500W powertrain

Natural habitat: Can be found across Europe in playgrounds, kindergartens and public parks. Extremely playful, curious and doing an amazing job with kids.

 

Peculiarities: Though usually this species is great interacting with kids, beware that the Fresh Prince is severely traumatised and therefore has to be approached with extreme caution.

THE MAD KING

Case number: KR 150-2 PA 

Case description: KR 470-2PA was spotted for the first time in a suburb of Detroit. Various sightings were reported, yet it took over 2 months to locate and contain this specific case. Several men and women were injured in the process, mainly due to the misleading behaviour of 'the mad king'; it has the ability to very convincing mimic the behaviour of a buggy, low on power co-bot. It must have been copying behaviour from co-bots in the automobile factory for years in order to learn the routines in detail. 

 

Species:  KUKA Naranja giganticus 

Dimensions: Reach - over 12ft reach, Weight - 1.2 tonnes, Power - 240V 8.000W powertrain

Natural habitat: Industrial areas, abandoned factories and parking garages. Mainly in the USA, republic of China and mainland Europe. 

 

Peculiarities: Though originally created as an obedient bot in car production factories, this particular species currently has developed an aggressive attitude towards humans and larger animals. Currently it is held in captivity in the large hall that has been outfitted with steel chains and wired fences to avoid an escape. 

THE QUEEN MOTHER

Case number: KR 210-2 MA 

Case description: Who doesn't remember the legendary Wasilev Circus that presented the Queen Mother for the first time in the gigantic circus tent? Her performance was unforgettable and is widely considered as setting the standard for circus robotics. We are proud and humbled to provide a home for this grand old lady that still loves the spotlight. Sadly, she has developed dementia last year triggered by her ancient software that was unable to update. 

 

Species:  KUKA Naranja regina mater 

Dimensions: Reach - over 12ft reach, Weight - 1.3 tonnes, Power - 240V 8.500W powertrain

Natural habitat: Trained in Russia by the great Wasilev, she has toured the world for over 26 years. Who hasn't been amazed by this living legend?

 

Peculiarities: Side effect of her dementia medication is a tendency to self-mutilate.

NEO

Case number: N_3_0

Case description: Neo was left as a foundling in front of the door of Buitenplaats Doornburgh. His/her (the gender is still unclear at the moment) parents were not able to give Neo the love needed to thrive in this world. The kennel did not hesitate a single moment and took over the parental responsibilities until a suitable foster-home is found.  
 

Species:  Rubik cubus

Dimensions: 43cm, Weight 1353gr

Natural habitat: All elements of this species are born in captivity. Can be found in research centres, some are smuggled out to function as pet in student-homes.

 

Peculiarities:
This robot, Neo, is a genetically identical “twin” of world’s first robot baby born in 2016 at the Vrije Universiteit Amsterdam. The parents of the robot baby were two handmade robots, the Spider and the Gecko. They met in the lab, mixed their genetic material via Wi-Fi, and had their child built based on a 3D- printer, prefabricated “organs”, and skillful human hands. The project was a scientific proof-of-concept to demonstrate that robot reproduction -and hence robot evolution- is possible. More information on https://evosphere.eu/